Canon Celebrates St. Valentine's Day Massacre

Tonight, cocktail wonderland Canon will be a "sanctuary for singles." The sign at the door reads, "Canon is celebrating the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. As such, any couples outwardly showing displays of affection on this day(such as holding hands, kissing, or whispering sweet nothings), will be gunned down in cold blood with one of the 24 water pistol distributed throughout the building." It continues, "be warned, if you decide to enter, and decide to show unrestrained affection with your companion, we will shoot until you drop down wet." The sanctuary part? They're offering a 20% discount off the bill to all singles. To nurture the bitterness(natch) that all singles feel, the bar has a special discount on the bitterest of its cocktails, the Angostura Collins.

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