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Aziz Ansari on Picking Up Waitresses

aziz-ansari-dangerously-delicious.jpgFollowing in the footsteps of Louis C.K. and Jim Gaffigan, funny person Aziz Ansari is selling his standup for $5 on his own website. The mothership has a clip of Ansari dispensing advice on how to pick up waitresses--leave a big tip, of course: "Can I get a muffin please? Here's $100. I think you know what that means: I'm willing to have sex with you. For the price of $98." [Eater National]