· On the Tesla he rented while in Seattle: "They've got internet on this motherfucker, I can watch porn while I'm driving."
· On staying in the Beatles Suite at his hotel: "You know I like the Beatles just fine, but is there a Rolling Stones room?"
· On a Red Light District tour of Seattle: "Whores and drugs? Travel Channel's great."
But that's not all! Here's the entire list of Bourdain's best zingers.