Okay, so, is Watson’s Counter a diner? It only does breakfast and lunch, you can hang out for an extended period of time on the weekdays, and most importantly, they’ll refill your coffee. Only unlike the diners of yore, the coffee here is good, not just “good for a diner”: We’re talking light-roasted Ethiopian single-origin, roasted in house. The Korean-style fried chicken is amazing too, but we ran out of space talking about the coffee, sorry.

You can drive to West Seattle without stopping at Luna Park Cafe, but why would you do that? This long-standing, ultra-reliable diner is like what people in the ‘80s thought the ‘50s looked like, with vintage Coke ads, bright blue booth seats, and a logo that looks like... Satan? It’s actually one of the performers from the old, nearly forgotten Luna Park amusement park, but it could be Satan too, if you’re into that.

This is a tiny little diner in the neighborhood I guess we’re calling “Frelard,” an unlovely collection of industry and ramshackle businesses. But don’t sleep on the Dish! The egg-and-potato diner standards are all done super well here, sometimes with a Mexican twist, like the “Slacker,” which is basically eggs and enchilada sauce; it rules. The funniest and also best thing here is the “scone,” which is actually a huge slab of coffee cake.

It’s 2023, time to modernize the classic diner. Emo on the speakers, anime on the TVs, loads of vegetarian options, including a gorgeous, healthy-ish veggie hash. Breakfast burrito? Fuck that, we’re doing a breakfast chimichanga. And a long, elaborate cocktail menu. Want a PB&J old fashioned? That’s peanut butter whiskey, raspberry liqueur, and walnut bitters. Thursday through Sunday, the diner turns into a club called the Shanghai Room. Come on over to Greenwood and figure out what we’re talking about.

A lot has been written about the iconic Green Lake diner, which has weathered multiple closures and a dramatic change in its opening hours (gone are the days of 24-hour Beth’s). And of course there are its infamous 12-egg omelets that played the food in an episode of Man v. Food. But there’s no glitz or glamor to be found here. Low ceilings, eggs and hash browns constantly on the flat top, drawings from local kids saying how much they love Beth’s. Last time we were here a guy came in and asked if he could make a reservation for a party of six. They don’t take reservations, the host said — it’s not that kind of place — but they’d find room for them whenever the guy’s crew came in. So heartwarming!

There aren’t many Greek diners in Seattle, but Costas is flying the blue-and-white flag. The traditional “American” diner stuff here is solid, but you should come here for the spanakopita, the tzatziki, the bountiful Greek salad. In a neighborhood full of somewhat run-down grab-and-go places, Costas stands out on the Ave for being the kind of place you can proudly bring your parents on graduation weekend. And get bottomless mimomas with them? Sure why not.

This is one of those restaurants that feels like someone’s home. Tchotchkes and photos line the walls, there’s local news playing on the TV in the corner, it’s a cozy place, which means small. The Breakfast Club likes to brag about its hollandaise sauce, which is flavorful without being too rich, but they should really brag more about their potatoes — perfectly crispy skins and creamy insides. It’s like your grandma’s house, only she probably wasn’t this good of a cook.

True story: This place serves maybe the worst coffee we’ve ever had. Like, this would have been bad coffee in 1990. But the vibes make up for it. Lil’ Jon (like the Robin Hood guy, not the rapper) has been serving the Eastside for over 50 years, and it feels Lynchian in here, like you’re going to see the creepy dumpster guy out back. The thick-cut bacon is a cut above typical diner strips, the cinnamon roll is almost too big, and the red booths are truly timeless.